Two sides to every story, aka, what happens when I work late

The boys need to use the bathroom one last time before bed.  Jonathan stays in their room with the baby and sends them in together to the restroom, right next door.

A few beats go by.

He hears screaming.  And "OW!"

Xander calls out, "Daddy, Daddy, Ari hit me!"

Jonathan walks in and sees both boys with their PJ bottoms down, standing by the toilet bowl. It's obvious they had just finished using it at the same time.

They pull their PJs up.  Jonathan asks Ari if he hit Xander.  Ari nods in affirmation.

Xander is smug.

Jonathan asks Ari why he hit him.

Ari looks indignant.  "Xander pee on me!" he says.  He points to a wet spot on his leg.

Jonathan pauses.

He turns to Xander.

"So... you peed on your brother. Then he hit you.  And now you're complaining because he hit you."

Xander thinks a moment, and then nods.  He apparently sees no problem with this scenario.

"Xander, you need to apologize to your brother right now.  It's never okay to pee on someone.  You never pee outside the toilet."

He notices pee on the floor.

"Xander, you clean that up right now.  And Ari, I understand you were mad, but you still need to apologize to Xander.  We never hit."

Jonathan stresses the importance of not peeing on people to Xander.  He promises to tell Mommy when she gets home.  Xander cringes.

I arrive.  Jonathan tells me the story.

Xander hides in the closet.

When bedtime is over, Jonathan collapses into an armchair.

"I hated my old job," he says.  "But at least then no one peed on each other!"