Addendum to Lovings in Cincinnati

So our online blog-turned books came in the mail today:

And I was so excited (What a meta-blog we have going here.)  But I realized that one thing was missing from all the ordination hoopla:  the biography I wrote that was included in the actual physical ordination program.  So better late than never.  Here tis':

Michal Merraro Loving

When I first applied to HUC-JIR, I applied to the graduate program.  I wanted to get a Ph.D. in Jewish history or philosophy, and I distinctly remember telling my husband, Jonathan, that while I loved the courses offered in the rabbinical program, I couldn’t enroll there… that would mean I would have to be a rabbi! 

Two months later, I attended a memorial service for my family’s longtime friend, mentor, and rabbi, Wolli Kaelter.  Rabbi David Ellenson gave the sermon, and about halfway through, he passed around a handout containing excerpts from a speech by Rabbi Leo Baeck.  Philosophy handouts during a sermon?  A talk combining intellectualism, emotion, and spirituality all at the same time?  Where do I sign up?!  I was so inspired about the rabbinate, and so completely enthused after speaking with Rabbi Ellenson at the oneg, that I went home that night talking a mile a minute.  At the end of my soliloquy, Jonathan simply smiled and said, quietly but profoundly: “About time.”

The seven years since that moment have been incredible.  If it takes a village to raise a child, it has taken a worldwide community to raise a soon-to-be rabbi.   I will always be indebted to Rabbi Ellenson for inspiring me to come to the rabbinate, and to Matt Albert, the admissions officer, for encouraging me to change the direction of my original HUC application.  All of my instructors have touched me in one way or another, but special mention must go Osnat Geld, who was the backbone of my year in Israel.  Rabbis Jonathan Cohen and Michael Cook, and Professors Adam Kamesar and Jason Kalman nurtured my love of Torah, text, and tradition so that I feel it deep in my kishkas. 

Rabbi Gary Zola, Kevin Proffitt, Dana Herman, and the staff of the American Jewish Archives have enabled me to grow as a historian and a researcher, and Dan Rettberg, Noni Rudavsky, and the entire cross-campus library contingent have provided me with a home away from home.  My passion for Jewish education has been given room to thrive at Rockdale Temple due to the open arms of Rabbi Sissy Coran and Margaret Friedman-Vaughn.  I have also been extremely lucky to serve three marvelous student pulpits, and I am grateful to the kind, patient, and caring congregants of the Mattoon Jewish Community Center in Mattoon, IL, Beth Boruk Temple in Richmond, IN, and Sinai Temple in Marion, IN.

The support of family and friends has been crucial throughout this process, and I am eternally thankful for my parents, my siblings, and my grandmother, who have never wavered in their love and support.  Holly De Los Reyes Fix has answered my phone calls at all hours of the day and night since I was thirteen years old, offering sage advice and a sympathetic ear.  The members of the Cincinnati Home Birth Circle, La Leche League, and those whom I have met through Tot Shabbats and preschool pickups helped me create a community outside of the “HUC bubble,” and shared much-needed wisdom on how to be a successful working mother.

Lastly, I would not be here today without the love and devotion of my immediate family.  Jonathan, you have been the best partner, co-parent, writing muse, and friend I can imagine. Xander and Ari, my adorable sons, know that your laughter is my very favorite sound in the universe.  You three are the lights of my life, and the axes around which my world revolves.  I cannot thank you enough.

Thank goodness for everyone above, because it worked - it's real, as evidenced by me as rabbi-in-action walking down the aisle officiating at a wedding on Sunday.

Children, temple, and chocolate. The story of my life.

1) My sister Odelia is here for a visit!  She's awesome with the kids and makes fantastic Israeli salads.  Hooray!

2) There is nothing like starting one's day with a rousing version of "Shake Your Booty!" and "Who's got ruach? [spirit]" with 5-10 year old campers at 9am morning circle.

3) At a meeting with a potential religious school family, I won the kid over by casually mentioning that we have a gaga pit in the playground.  His parents had no clue what he was talking about.  My campers love it though - as they have for years.  I had no idea it was just a Jewish thing though until I read this article!  Jewish Camps Spawn a U.S. Playground Hit

4) Reason #895635 I love my husband: he's been making me chai tea every morning and putting it in the thermos for me to take to work.  The only downside is, it's so good that I finish it every day by the time I pull up in the parking lot!

5) Work is amazing but still intense.  I'm so beat by the time I get home that it's all I can do to read a book.  So the humorous Naptime Is the New Happy Hour: And Other Ways Toddlers Turn Your Life Upside Down is the very best present Jonathan could have gotten me.  The reason?  Our one-month anniversary of moving to Sacramento.

6) I was preparing to teach today's Torah study earlier this week, and had the Talmud and other books strewn about me.  But I was so disappointed, I had one book in mind that I knew would be perfect as a resource, I could visualize the cover exactly.  The problem was, I could picture exactly where to find it on the shelf at the HUC library.

7) One of my favorite professors at HUC in Israel wrote a fascinating take on how American Jews teach Israel and Jewish identity.  Some highlights from his article to tempt you:

Young Jewish leaders are shifting away from a Jewish identity focused on Israel, peoplehood and community toward Jewishness as a personal spiritual journey, disconnected from the collective, unaware of the centrality of the land of Israel to Jewish history. A recent article by Daniel Gordis bemoans these weakening ethnic and national ties, and concludes that the implications of this reality for Israel are profoundly troubling... [But] expressing frustration with the weakening of ‘tribal’ ties to the Jewish people and Israel, and insisting that Israel is a perfect one-size-fits-all solution to the challenges of Jewish identity in an open reality, is counter-productive... If we acknowledge the cultural and generational context from which young Jewish leaders come, and focus on the need to help them find meaning and relevance in the land and state of Israel, we have the greatest chance of enabling them to develop and internalize a genuine connection. 

8)  Even when my children drive me crazy, I still try to value them for who they are.  Case in point: Xander was put on time-out multiple times for hitting his brother today.  But besides learning that yelling his full name really does make me feel better and make him pay more attention, I learned that he's full of empathy.  Tonight, an hour after the kids went to bed, I heard screaming and ran into their room.  Ari was thrashing on his mattress and had woken up Xander.  I asked, exasperated (since I'd already spent 40 minutes putting them to sleep), "what happened?!" fully expecting Xander to be grumpy, blame Ari for waking him up, or be mean.  But instead, he said very simply and quietly, "Ari got scared."  I thought that was so kind of him - he was compassionate, even when he had no reason to be.

9) Simcha loves being outside.  He and Osher chill in our backyard all afternoon, taking cat naps as only lazy tabbys can.

10) Andi's unveiling is on Sunday - I can't believe it's been that long since she passed away.  In her honor, I think I need to go shopping.  Ingredients must follow.  Because these chocolate chip cookie dough truffles desperately need to be made!

Ari's bad day (by Jonathan)

I know we normally post all the happy things on the blog, but to be fair, we need to post some of the not-so-happy moments on our blog as well. Therefore, here is the story of Ari’s bad day.

 Ari had just come back from the doctor, who informed us that Ari indeed had ear infections in both ears. Just days prior he had recovered from the flu, so this week had not been shaping up well for him. I had just brought Xander back from school and was feeding the boys dinner. I decided that I would give a very sad and hungry Ari some appetizers to hold him over until I finished making dinner for the both of them. His big brother sat at the table too, and watched Ari in silent envy while I chopped meat 15 feet away.

 To set this up, you must know that at this time we were using a baby chair for Ari that clamps suspended to the side of our table, so Ari can feel like he is eating with us instead of beside us. While I was busy being careful not to chop off my fingers, Xander decided he needed some appetizers too. Without saying a word, he climbed up on top of the table to grab some from Ari’s side of the table. This had the disastrous effect of overcoming the stability of the table and the entire thing tipped over, Ari and all. Ari went crashing backwards with the table affixed to his front. The table acted as a ramp for everything to slide down on top of him. Two bowls, a lazy susan, a napkin holder, two cups of water and a big brother all bounced off Ari’s chubby right cheek. I looked up just in time to watch everything happen in slow motion. It was horrible. The only good thing about the wreck was the aluminum frame of Ari’s seat kept his head from hitting the floor or the table from squishing him or the day would most likely ended in the ER.

 Xander rolled off unharmed and knew instantly that he messed up big time. Before I could say a word Xander burst out, “I didn’t know what I was doing!” Truer words could not have been spoken.

We couldn’t bring ourselves to take pictures of Ari’s horrible injury. It seemed too exploitive. That is, until after we fed him some cherries the next day. The combination of black and blue face and red cherry juice around his mouth made him look like he walked (toddled?) off the set of a zombie movie. Thus, we couldn’t resist the picture of a very happy Zombie below:

Hilarious

Last night, one of those moments happened for which Jonathan has been waiting all his life.

He played a video game with his eldest son. :)


(For those curious, it was Lego Pirates of the Carribean.  Xander learned how to use the controls in minimal time and was soon swimming after treasure, feeding the donkey, and climbing Lego trees with the best of them.)

A belated 4th of July

Fireworks first for context, then pictures of kid!

SO super excited.

Watching avidly.

                                    

A happy happy boy with his sparkler.

Good overview.

I love my job

To quote my friend Aaron, "it's like you get to do all the best stuff at HUC - but ALL DAY."  Today I didn't even realize it was 5pm til I heard other people leaving!

Oh, and something funny:

We've been letting the cats outside, even Simcha, and no one's gotten lost.  (And even better, no one's gotten fleas.)  Simcha was happy as can be, and I figured out why... it was 104 degrees today.  I talked to my dad and he said it was 97 in Jerusalem.  Our cats feel right at home!

Things I have learned this week

1) Children have a knack for vomiting where you least want them to. Ari's managed to hit three out of four beds in the house. Thank goodness he's starting to feel better now, the poor boy has been miserable.

2) It is SO much easier to do laundry (i.e. three sets of bedsheets!) when the washer and dryer are on the same floor as the bedrooms.

3) Board books in Hebrew, even the simple ones, show a large difference in culture. Not many fruit and vegetable picture books in English include radish and eggplant as staples in one's diet.

4) Shredding old documents will keep my eldest child occupied for up to 15 minutes at a time, and the younger one for 10 (he doesn't actually shred, just plays in the paper).

5) I can very very easily become a Jamba Juice addict. We cracked up when Xander asked Jonathan what the jamba fruit looked like. He's drank orange juice, apple juice, grape juice... made sense to him!

6) Pen pals are a thing of the past. Xander now has a regular Skype date with his former preschool classmate, and he thinks it's absolutely normal. Technology never ceases to amaze me.

7) When reading books about animals (and making the appropriate animal noises) with the kids, Yentl gets very confused. Who is that strange cat meowing, she asks, and why is it that whenever I come over to Mommy to find out where it is, she starts to laugh?

8) Congregants don't seem to mind when my children act crazily at Friday night services. The senior rabbi called up my family this past Shabbat to light the candles... right as Xander and Jonathan left to go potty. They came up halfway through, with Xander proclaiming loudly that he wanted to help and to PUT HIM DOWN. I inwardly cringed, but everyone else only smiled.

9) Having my own office at temple, with an administrative assistant sitting outside the door? Really does that help with that whole "feeling like a rabbi" thing."

10) Life is a circle. That has never been more apparent than this weekend, when I conducted pre-marital counseling, officiated at a funeral, and received a very welcome phone call informing me of Sarah Eve's arrival into the world. A big hearty mazel tov to her joyful and exhausted parents, Maura and Liad!