I love my husband's sense of humor

Connor toddles around, and I notice a whiff of stinkiness.

Jonathan gets to him first.

"Come here, you," he says to the baby.

He carries him to the changing table.

"Why do you wear diapers anyway?  They're so stupid.  I mean really, what self-respecting object would create an entire career out of being pooped on?"

Technical difficulties

Ari is sitting on his toy car, driving.

He stops, presses pretend buttons, goes "beep beep beep," then frowns at it, puzzled.  "Mommy, my GPS is broken," he says.

"Oh," I say.  "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Climbaroo."

"Do you need directions?" I ask.

"No, I want the GPS."  (Jabs at it again).  "It's not working!"

"Try rebooting," I say.

"Okay," he replies, and he happily zooms off.

Extra Yom Kippur family picture

Having crazy fun... with homework

The kids' Montessori school doesn't give homework every day.  What they do give is projects.

Xander's project this month was "Halloween Heroes."  He had to pick a hero, someone who had died in the past, and answer a bunch of questions on him or her: "Tell us about their early years.  What made this person a hero?  Tell me six interesting facts about your hero."  Etc.  The kids give their oral report tomorrow, when they also dress up like their heroes for the Halloween parade at school.

Xander wanted to do his report on Abraham Lincoln.  Don't ask my why, I have no idea.  But I amused myself, I was totally in my element.  We watched a YouTube video on Abraham Lincoln.  Looked up old Abe on the online encyclopedia.  I had a ball helping Xander spell "Civil War" and explaining the concept of slavery.  I honestly enjoyed the conversation, making sure all the ideas were his own and I was only facilitating the report, not writing it.  For the first time in a long time, I felt totally confident as a parent.

The early childhood years are lovely and messy and sticky and adorable and I love my children.  But I was a philosophy major for a reason; it takes work for me to constantly play with them on their level.

But this?  The beginnings of elementary school?  Holding rational conversations, helping my son learn to research, talking about life and history and seeing him blossom into his own little person?

This is my element.

This is what I always dreamed of when I thought about having kids.

I feel like I've arrived.

(Plus, Jonathan and I made a pretty awesome stovepipe hat out of a paper plate and construction paper!)

Extra benefits of the Nissan Leaf

Jonathan called our local electricity provider and because of our electric car, they're lowering our rates to minimal levels.  What we pay now with the car will be almost equal to what we paid without it.

Which means that powering this car will be entirely free.

And even better... I never have to go to a gas station again!

Shout-out to Rachelle

Hi, Rachelle!  (waves)

I found out last week that she is a blog reader par excellence, as dedicated as my own family. Which is very impressive, as she has a granddaughter of her own to fawn over!

Rachelle, so glad you're here. :)

The latest passion

Our eldest loves to crochet.

In school, he's allowed to do "handwork" while the teacher reads them a story after lunch.  He began crocheting, and loved it so much he asked us to get some yarn.  We did so, and he made beautiful necklaces for everyone.

He was working on this yarn when our friend William came over, and lo and behold, William had extra crochet materials that he wasn't using!  He presented it as a gift to our boy, who almost fell over in glee.

Here he is on his work mat (borrowed from the Montessori system; brothers can't cross one's mat when one is working) showing off his "Hanukkah color" necklace.  His great-grandmothers would be proud.

Not what I expected, part 2

Ari has a girlfriend.

Eliza follows Ari everywhere.  She is three, and adores our son the older man (at three and a half).

Martha, the teacher, had to separate them today because they were having too much fun together, and not doing their "jobs."

Ari was okay with this.  He kept on playing.

Eliza was not.  She said some angry words under her breath, according to Martha, which is very unusual for her as she's usually very quiet and demure.

I realized that when I was four, I was quiet and demure and had a preschool crush on the "bad boy" in class.  Chava, the older man of five, was funny, and loud, and got in trouble with his teachers all the time.

I am Eliza.

O.M.G.

This means Ari is Chava.

Ari is the "bad boy."

I am the MOM of the bad boy.

How do these things happen?!


(And yes, logically... that preschool girl streak in me led me to marry a man who wore a leather jacket and rode an uber-fast motorcycle.  So of course our son comes by his "bad boy-ness" naturally.  But somehow I never considered what that would mean in terms of parenting!)

Parenting inspiration

I read this during Shabbat services this weekend, and it really spoke to me; not about my relationship with God, as I believe it was intended, but about helicopter parenting.  It's okay to let the kids be adventurous and go off on their own and not be by their side. I'd been thinking about it all that morning, and here was a prayer I've read countless times, that really hit me full-force with its beauty.


What makes a fire burn
is space between the logs,
a breathing space.
Too much of a good thing,
too many logs
packed in too tight
can douse the flames
almost as surely
as a pail of water would.

       So building fires
       requires attention
       to the spaces in between,
       as much as to the wood.

When we are able to build
open spaces
in the same way we have learned
to pile on the logs,
then we can come to see how
it is fuel, and absence of fuel
together, that make the fire possible.

        We only need to lay a log
        lightly from time to time.
        A fire grows
        simply because the space is there,
        with openings in which the flame
        that knows just how it wants to
        burn
        can find its way.


(Judy Brown, Mishkan Tefillah 225)

Two fun articles

Date Night for Parents Vs. Date Night for Non-Parents by Rita Templeton

What if You Just Hate Making Dinner?  by Virginia Heffernan

I so get these.  In spades.

Not what I'd expected

I opened mail yesterday.

I slit open a padded envelope and saw that it contained a letter, and a large tube.  

The tube was curious, so I turned it over in my palm.  It was clear, with what looked like black squiggles inside.

I'm nearsighted, so I took off my glasses and held the tube right in front of my eyes to get a better look.

I nearly dropped it.

Inside the tube were ANTS.

Dozens of them, big harvester ants, crawling over each other.

They were the mail-away ants that belonged to Xander's ant farm, that he had gotten as a birthday gift from a classmate.

I.  WAS. NOT. PREPARED. TO. HOLD. ANTS. IN. MY. PALM.

The ant farm lights up, so the huge squirming ants are now magnified onto the ceiling in the kids' room.

Xander loves it.

We read about ants and snakes at bedtime.

I. WAS. NOT. PREPARED. FOR. THIS. CHILD.

Our budding artist

Working at school.

Cooking with Caryn

Caryn, the temple cooking teacher extraordinaire, gave our family a private lesson in challah-making!

About ready to bake.

 They made TWO challahs for Shabbat last night; cinnamon raisin and chocolate chip!  They tasted fantastic.

We have a new car!!!

My 17 year-old Toyota Camry was much-loved, but it was time to move on, so we sold it.  We were a one-car family for two weeks, and it was horrible.  And then Mom visited.  She saw what was going on, and in a truly amazing moment, she and my grandmother quite generously subsidized a major MAJOR purchase: a Nissan Leaf!

All-electric charging.  We plug it in.  No more gas, ever.

Doesn't it look futuristic?  I feel like I'm in a sci-fi movie.

There's plenty of room for storage.  The weirdest part when you look at it from the back?  No tailpipe!

Mom and Savta?  "Thank you" does not even begin to cover it.  Jonathan and I are so unbelievably appreciative, we can't even express it properly.  Todah rabbah, from the bottom of our hearts.

Mom's visit in pics

Eating Mom's grilled cheese sandwiches.

Connor at Xander's school.   His shirt speaks truth.

Ari at the pumpkin patch

Getting ready to go on the field trip.

Baling hay into kid-sized bundles.

Trying to examine goats from a safe distance - which was hindered by the fact that the goats really liked him.

More suspicious goat activity.

Looking at a sheared ram.  I.e. "I just wanted a trim, what happened?!"

Examining alpacas... and quickly getting bored.

Taking a selfie on the hay ride.  Connor's head is below the straps, just out of frame.

Xander turned 6!

Last Tuesday. I'm a bit behind.

For his birthday we got him a Hot Wheels track.  He was ecstatic.  For four days straight he wanted to come from school and play with it immediately.

Creating a double track so he and Ari can play together.

SO jazzed.

Little brother "helping."

Karate car kid.

Funny videos

I have very silly children. :)

Bath craziness.

  

After Yom Kippur morning services.

 

Bedtime book - cuts out halfway through.  When Ari says, "Can I jump on the bed?" it's because we sing the song, "Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head."

Yom Kippur finest

Counting out the playdate

I have three boys ages 5 and under.

My friend Heather has three boys and a girl ages 7 and under (basically, they're us, just if we kept going with one more kid).

Their family came over last weekend.

7 children, two moms.

5 active kids, 2 babies.

2 apples and copious amounts of honey for snack.

3 boxes of mac n'cheese and one bag of mixed veggies for dinner.

14 glass bowls, 7 cups, and tons of silverware in the dishwasher.

Countless number of toys that were strewn about and then put away.

1 bottle of red wine and a bag of chocolate-covered berries for Heather and myself.

Amount of fun, laughter, and schmoozing?  Priceless!

Book rec

This isn't a "recommendation," per se, because if you don't have a child like my fun-loving, very-opinionated, strong-willed Ari, then it doesn't really matter.

Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child: Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries by Robert J. Mackenzie.

If you DO have a child to whom this applies - then this book is a godsend.  Ari's teacher recommended it, and since we read it and started utilizing its techniques, our troubles have lessened by half.  We're better at utilizing time-outs, keep to our word all the time (even if it just means, no, you can't have one more minute, we said no, no exceptions), etc.  It's hard, but it's working.

Hooray.

Zichrono livracha, may his memory be for a blessing

My prom date from high school, William Korthof, was killed in a motorcycle accident on Thursday.  I hadn't seen him in years, but remember him as a kind, gentle soul, passionate about saving the earth and making the world a better place.  He was a major figure in the environmentalist world, and owned his own company Sustainable Solutions.  I gave the Yizkor sermon, the sermon during the memorial service, this year at Yom Kippur, and dedicate it to his memory.

YES for geekiness!

I just arranged to take a vacation day so I can attend the Star Trek Convention in San Francisco.

I'm so excited!!