New Year's Eve

Mom went home last night and my sister arrived this afternoon, bringing gifts galore (ooh squirt guns!).  The original plan was to do a 9pm East Coast New Year's, but exhausted children fell asleep at 4pm and woke up at 6pm, so now we're seeing if they can stay up til midnight.  So far we've done fireworks outside (where they put out each last spark with their squirt guns) and watched the ball drop in Times Square from my computer (no TV hookup remember). Now we're dishing out steaming apple cider, are getting ready to make s'mores, and are searching for child-friendly fancy(ish) glasses for sparkling cider at midnight.

Wish us luck!



ETA: Ari put himself to bed at 10:30pm, but Xander made it til midnight, and didn't want to go to bed in the end!  He was very grown-up as he sipped his cider in the wine glass in his Spiderman PJ's. :)

Bedtime stories with Bubby

Mom came up for the weekend.  Thank God.  Here she is with all three boys in their newly-gifted pirate pajamas.

Smiles all around.

Silly faces!

Kiddos on vacation

Starting off in the morning playing in the sandbox together.

Going treasure hunting and running down the "super-big hills."

Channeling Julie Andrews: "The hilllls are alive, with the sound of muuuu-sic..."

Ari and Daddy taking out the trash together.  It was dark and scary so they wore their miner's headlights and Ari is holding onto his flashlight.

Camping in with fireplace s'mores.

YUM.

Bringing pillows and blankets into the fort.

In the meantime, the littlest brother was bouncing away...

Sticking his tongue out at us.

A and X fell asleep in the fort, and C fell asleep on Daddy.

Book list meme from Facebook

Rules: In your status line, list 10 books that have stayed with you. Try not to think too hard. They don't have to be "right" or "great works," they just have had to have touched you in some way. 

In no particular order:

1. As a Driven Leaf - Milton Steinberg
2. A Wrinkle in Time - Madeleine L'Engle
3. The Red Tent - Anita Diamant
4. The Jungle - Upton Sinclair
5. Nobody's Fault - Patricia Hermes (haunted me as a kid)
6. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
7. Leaves of Grass - Walt Whitman
8. When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit - Judith Kerr
9. Johnny Got His Gun - Dalton Trumbo
10. Sybil - Flora Schreiber

Connor's naming ceremony

Wow, it's been three weeks.  That's a long lag for me!   Here are lots of pics.

Shula and Mom bringing him into the chapel from the small room where we held the private bris, the circumcision ceremony itself.

From L to R: Mom, Connor, Shula, my dad Billu, the cantor, the rabbi, Jonathan, Ari with his big lip, me and Xander.

Shula and Mom were the kvatterins, bringing the baby to and from the bris, symbolizing l'dor v'dor, literally "from generation to generation."  Shula's sitting in Elijah's chair which is covered by my paternal grandfather Philip's tallit from Romania.  My dad served as sandek, who actually held Connor during the bris itself, and also during part of the naming.

Hi all!

Reading a parent blessing.

Words of wisdom from rabbi to infant.  What was funniest was that right as she was proclaiming something about God, was the moment Connor chose to let loose.  The entire congregation cracked up at the huge sound, and Rabbi Alfi turns to Connor and says, "That's a very Jewish response!"

We're the People of the Book... we read a lot.  :)

Xander lost interest and played with a toy.  Ari switched laps every five minutes.

I love her voice.

Grown-ups are boring.

At this point Jonathan shared the following words about our son's name:

This little boy has a name imbued with love.  His first name, Connor, starts with “C,” the same letter as my grandfather Charlie, who passed away six months after I was born.  Charlie was a man who was fearless, a boy who had such a passion for adventure that at the age of 16 hopped on a train from his home state of Kentucky to go join the Texas Rangers.  Known as the “Kentucky Kid,” family lore tells that he once was ambushed by the men he was chasing, was rescued and nursed back to health by a Native American, and died with 3 bullets left in his body.  He lived life to the fullest, and made the most of every moment.

He met my grandmother in a most unusual way: she had an illegitimate child, and he got to know the baby through her daycare.  He fell in love with the baby first and bought her a crib because she needed one, and only then met and fell in my love with my grandmother.  A man not afraid to show his feelings, he cried when his daughter, my mom, cut off her waist-length hair into a short bob.  And when he watched my siblings, his grandchildren, play, he would laugh and laugh, never bothered by their antics but appreciating them for who they were.

Charlie worked hard all his life, without any education, to provide for his family, and always did so with patience, generosity, and love.  He and that side of my family are all Scottish, and the name Connor means “wise” in Gaelic.  Connor’s Hebrew name is Chaim, or “life,” and Michal and I hope that Connor will be blessed with a life filled with wisdom, and that he will take after his great-grandfather’s passionate, adventurous, and loving spirit.

Then I continued:

Connor’s middle name, Merraro, is my maiden name.  My father was born in Romania, and the family had been there for generations – but the name always sounded Spanish.  The mystery was solved about ten years ago, when a Christian man from Spain contacted my father and showed him a book from the time of the Inquisition.  It listed our family name, spelled the exact same way we spell it today, next to the date 1488.   He told my father that as far as he had known, his ancestry was Christian, yet the women in his family had always lit candles on Friday night and had separate utensils for meat and other foods.

We realized that ever since 1488, our common ancestors had been secret Jews, with a few family members converting and a few others fleeing east, to Russia and then eventually to Romania.  Connor, Ari and Xander all have Merraro as their middle name so that they will forever be connected to their history.  We wish that Connor, named after his paternal great-grandfather with a middle name dating back through the centuries, will know that he never stands alone, but is a link in a very long chain of both Jewish and family tradition.

Family blessing.

The boys presenting their poster to their little brother.  Xander had written "Connor" in cursive and then decorated it.  Xander: "I wish for Connor that we can give him toys and talk with him, even though he's a baby."  Ari:  "MY baby!"

Ari identifying the poster, in case anyone missed it.

Kisses!

All of the family present, including Aunt Lois but excluding Jonathan's mom, who didn't come up, for the final congratulatory song.

I had forgotten what it's like...

To wake up six times a night.

To catch a stream of baby urine with my hand.

To get poop on my face.

To get projectile milk vomit in my hair.

To walk around bouncing for "fussy time" for 2-3 hours every night.

More than that though, I'd not realized what it's like to do all that with two other young children.

Today was good for them though:  Netflix and playing in the backyard in the morning.  Going on a treasure hunt to the park in the afternoon and putting sticks and rocks and leaves in their pails. Having them help make Kraft mac n'cheese for dinner, measuring the milk and butter and stirring everything in.   "Camping out" in the living room in the evening by making s'mores in the fireplace and sleeping in their pillow and blanket fort.  

"Best night EVER!" exclaimed Xander.

God I'm exhausted.

Three little but important things

Thing the first.  I love that Jonathan always makes apple cider at this time of year.  The house smells so good, and seeing the crockpot on the counter always makes me smile, it reminds me of my childhood when Gwen would do the same.  Yay for cider!

Thing the second.  Connor saw the chiropractor today and she worked on his jaw and neck.  Between the two specialists he's nursing better already.  Hooray for not beating me up anymore!

Thing the third.  Discovery Channel's How the Universe Works is the coolest series ever.  I love astronomy, and the rest of the family does too.  I write this while Ari and Connor nap and Xander is curled up in the cat bed holding Blackie the snake.  Our five year-old can talk all about black holes and quasars.  Yay for science!  (And as an aside... did you know that there are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on earth?  I'd had no idea.)

Snippets from the Loving household

1) I sit at the dining room table folding laundry, watching Xander run like a crazy person around the house, and around the table.

Me: "How do you have that much energy?!"
Him: "I don't know, Mommy. I just do."
Me: "Well, if you get bored, you can always help me fold."
Him: "No, I'm having more fun running in circles around you!"

2) The mastitis is gone, hooray!  But yesterday we found out why I have it: Connor doesn't nurse very well.  He sucks like he would through a straw, instead of fully with his jaw.  So... we've already seen a chraniosacral therapist.  The chiropractor is tomorrow.  And the midwives gave me a large to-do list.  We'll see what happens in the next week.

3) In the boys' room, before bed, I look in dismay at the clothes littering the floor.  I start to pick them up and put them in the laundry hamper, but then I stop myself.  I drop them where they lay and say to myself, disgustedly, "What am I doing?"  Then, more loudly, "Boys, please put your clothes in the hamper!  I am NOT your maid!"  No sooner do the words come out of my mouth than I realize... wow, I'm straight out of a movie.

4)  This new federal health insurance is confusing!  The things they ask for make no sense.  Argh.  And everything was due today.  Let's hope it got squared away.  (Hey, that rhymed.)

5) Our house has never been such an utter mess.  Toys everywhere, stuff cluttered, papers and mail haphazard on the table.  I apologized for its state to the midwives today, and one responded, quite wisely most likely, "I'm glad to see it!  If a house is too clean we worry, it means the mom is doing too much."  LOL I'm glad it's not just me.  But oy... this letting go thing is harder than it looks!

Eye candy for a good Jewish mother

Yesterday Jonathan picked up Ari early from school so they could have special time together, in hopes of combating his transition issues.  I didn't know where they went until I got this email:

"Welcome to the Library,

LOVING, ARI

You have registered as an Online Patron. Your online library card number is -----.  This number will allow you to access your library account through My Account for 14 days. Should you wish to check out materials from the library, you will need to have your online account converted to a regular account by showing a photo ID and proof of current address at the check out desk."

Ari was very excited to show me all his books when he got home, which I loved, but which wasn't a surprise.  What did take me aback was Xander tonight, who turned down a movie in order to keep reading about Batman and Iron Man.  Apparently the key to opening up our math and science lover's heart to books is reading about superheroes and semi-violent adventures.  Well... whatever works, I suppose!

"Tea and Sing" on Wednesday

The boys' school puts on a typical holiday concert every December, consisting of two Hanukkah songs and a bunch of secular Christmas music.  It's definitely different than what the kids did last year, since before this they were always in Jewish schools.  But in a strange sort of way, it's actually reminiscent of my own childhood.

 We pulled the car over on the way to the school to ooh and ahh at the beautiful sunset.

 Sunset part deux

Xander getting ready to sing.  We don't have that many pics of him this time, because since he was holding a sign he didn't do many hand motions.

The moment when Ari saw where Jonathan and I were sitting.

Ari rocking out.

Very serious pointing.

Older kids holding up the signs at the very end of the "Twelve Days of Christmas" song.  

Our friend Megan held the baby the entire show, and then gave him back when we went into an adjoining room for tea and cookies and schmoozing.  Everything was very yummy.  

On the ride home Xander wanted to keep singing about the holidays, and it was odd moment when we ran out of kid Hanukkah songs he knew and he asked to sing "Jingle Bells." Jonathan and I looked at each other and shrugged.  Why not?  It's not like we didn't know the words.  And the kids definitely have Jewish identities!  So this rabbi's family sang Christmas carols at the top of our lungs the rest of the way back.  Two best parts:  one, having a discussion of how it's not okay that the reindeers were mean to Rudolph because of what he looked like, red nose or no red nose.  And two, realizing that Xander has been singing "four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle ducks, and a partridge in a pear tree!"

Horsing around when we got in.

One day I'll look back on this and laugh

So.  Two days ago I encouraged Jonathan to go to a movie, to de-stress a little.  He and Robin went to a late-late showing of Catching Fire.  As they were on their way back, Jonathan realized he had forgotten his satchel (man-purse) in the seat next to him in the theater. They went back, but they were the last ones out so the theater was closed. He went back bright and early as soon as it opened, looked where he left it, and... it wasn't there.  It also wasn't in lost and found, or anywhere else.  The manager said the only people in the theater was the night crew.

A half hour later, we checked credit cards and bank accounts and saw some major charges that were not ours.  Jonathan spent the rest of the day cancelling every card, visiting the bank, putting alerts with the credit report companies on his social security number, and going to the DMV to get a new license.  Today he's putting new locks on the doors and getting a new phone.

That was bad enough.  But oh, and did I mention that I have mastitis?  The midwife said it was possibly stress-induced.  That's really not fun either.

Sigh.

In the meantime... the baby is gaining weight like crazy.  I've been watching the Netflix original series Lilyhammer while nursing for hours on end. Ari is behaving much better at home now, but is worse at school.  And Xander is lonely and comes into our bed to sleep every night for the attention.   Thank goodness for people bringing over meals, otherwise this would be much more difficult!

Daily life as a family of five

Evening Super Why! relaxation.  Ari asks to hold Connor at least three times a day.

Selfie with the wrap.  I'm relearning how to eat and drink without dribbling onto the baby - it's only been two years since I did this with Ari, but I'd forgotten so quickly!  #attachmentparentingproblems

Forgotten pics from the last couple weeks

Three days old, I think.

Snuggling.

Close-up.  He has Jonathan's lips!

Mr. Xander, very proud of his helicopter and spaceship.  He put them together with minimal help, and later on built a garbage truck set completely on his own.

First step build, second step fly!

Playing horsie.

Arr, matey, we be pirates seekin' treasure!

Babelehs in repose

Ari gardening at school.

The two oldest "helping" Jonathan by hammering in new chair feet protectors.  The old ones had come loose and were scratching the floor.

Connor one week ago today, at 10 days old.  

Hugging my kids a little closer today

So sad to report that Superman Sam Sommer, 8 year old son of Chicago colleagues Rabbis Phyllis and Michael Sommer, died this morning.  His mom has been chronicling his fight with leukemia on her blog here.  I can't even imagine losing a child... my heart goes out to their whole family.

My own kids are doing very well health-wise, thankfully.  Connor's over 10 pounds now, and is in size 1 diapers, necessitating a return of all the Newborn sizes back to Target.  That makes sense when the midwives told me their target goal for all babies is for them to gain back their birth weight by 14 days... he was one ounce past that at 6 days.

Ari doesn't seem to notice his mouth anymore, we just have to be cognizant of only giving him soft foods for the next month.  And Xander's awesome. We have had some behavioral issues with Ari since my mom left, but after Jonathan met with his teacher Martha and talked with her about all the changes at once (Bubby, Sabba and Shula leaving in the span of two days, new baby, and teeth trauma), we've been tweaking our parenting technique a bit and things are going much better.

As for me, I admitted I needed help and signed up for Mealtrain.com, and people have been absolutely amazing.  We haven't cooked since Monday night, and won't have to for another week at least. Thank you to everyone, you're all marvelous!  And to top it all off, my lovely husband bought apple juice and turned it into mulled cider in the crockpot... it compliments every meal, and makes the house smell wonderful.

With Sam ever in my thoughts, I am so appreciative of my life right now.

The rest of Hanukkah

Bubby reading "Super Why!" to Ari, with Connor fast asleep on her chest (one of his favorite places all week).

Shula and Ari building a train track.

It's complete!

My dad and Xander building a 3-D dinosaur puzzle.

Xander had a great attention span, and actually did much of it himself.

Menorah lighting!

 And now for a fast series entitled "Blowing air through straws, messing up Shula's hair, and wrestling":

She was a VERY good sport. :)

And that actually would be all of the pictures from when family was here, excepting those from the naming which we need to get from a friend.  The normal picture-takers (Jonathan and Mom) were too busy with the baby to record every day.  My dad and Shula stayed 10 days, my mom two and a half weeks.  I'm so sad they left!

(Oh, and because this must be recorded for posterity: of the many great gifts I got this Hanukkah, special mention must be made of the When Harry Met Sally Blu-Ray DVD, and William Shakespeare's Star Wars.  Verily, a new hope, indeed!)