Avian Kevorkian

So.  Yesterday was strange.

Jonathan's Aunt Edna turned 80, and we were all dressed and ready to go to her birthday party.  But I open the door, and we see Yentl... munching on a bird.  Like, literally.  I don't want to gross anyone out, let me just say that the bird was still breathing and the cat was muzzle-deep.

We push Yentl aside, try to shield the kids (it didn't work) and had a quick discussion on what to do... we couldn't let the cat finish it off.   So thank goodness for my mother, she's in town for the weekend, I'm feeling like the kid very grateful that I don't have to be the adult - she asks me to get her a towel, she picks up the bird, turns her back to us, and breaks its neck.

We can't just throw the bird away; Xander wants to bury it.

The only shovel on hand is a toy plastic shovel from the sandbox.  We wet the dry parched CA earth, Mom dug as much as she could, and we buried it.  I sang the sad-sounding melody of Psalm 16 that I sing at funerals, I thanked the bird for the joy that it brought us with its beauty and its song, Xander spoke to it saying he was sorry Yentl caught it, and we closed with the Mourner's Kaddish.

Then we left for the birthday party.  We were an hour late - but, that burial defined a "teachable moment."  Xander talked about it for half the trip and then after, when we got home.  I was really proud of him; he was so clear that the bird was a creature of nature and deserved respect, that we had to bury it and give it a proper funeral.

Definitely not the way I had planned to spend my Shabbat... but very worthwhile in the end.

Phone message from myself to Jonathan a few days ago

"Hi honey, do you have any tricks of the trade to get the baby to stop crying?  He woke up from his nap early and is inconsolable.  Right now the only reason he's quiet is that he's trying to molest the cat.  I feel a bit badly throwing the cat under the bus, but, hey, that's what's working for me right now.  Love you!"

Connor took his first steps today!

Toward Jonathan's cell phone and the remote, LOL!

He's now walked 3 or 4 steps in a row before falling.  He turns 9 months tomorrow.

And I was at work. :(

(Edited to add: my mom wants the world to know that I was 17 months when I started walking.  He beat me by half!)

#TVbliss

Orphan Black is the most underrated show on television.  It's utterly fabulous.  Intricately plotted, fascinating characters, science and philosophy and intrigue all in one.  And the actress is amazing.  Go. Watch.  Now.

Also, the 50th anniversary special of Dr. Who, and the Christmas special with the swan song of Matt Smith's tenure?  God bless Netflix, they just came out.  So THIS is what my Facebook feed was all aflame with those months ago!  No wonder.

Water day at school last week

This was their last hurrah together; as of today, they're at different schools.  Sniff.  

Sunday "at home day"

Religious school starts on September 7th, and we're making the most of our last free Sundays.  Today we were invited to a play date but Xander really didn't want to go, he wanted to stay at home since we went out yesterday.  So Connor and I stayed with him, and Jonathan accompanied Ari to the friend's house.

I put on my classical music Pandora station for the day, and Xander and I:

- built LEGO

- made a smoothie

- folded and put away laundry

- cleared the table

- did art (coloring and paper airplanes) on said table

- played soccer outside with Robin

- played 2 games of checkers.  I won the first, he won the second.  (Any advice on how to train a good loser, by the way?  All suggestions appreciated.  The win 1/lose 1 was very strategic on my part).
- drank hot chocolate with marshmallows

- went bug catching.  Catch and release with a praying mantis. :)

Tomorrow he starts first grade.  I think he's more ready than I am.

Baby pictures

Connor at Mini Minyan

Go Israel! 

At temple in front of my office

Passed out at home.  The bruises on his legs are from hardcore cruising/attempted walking/falling.

"Helping" load the dishwasher. The baby's a mountain goat.

Eating real food!  He's tried banana, avocado, and applesauce.  But honestly, he hasn't really liked any of it.  He just gets an odd expression on his face and puckers his lips.  We'll keep trying.

Accident report - verbatim

Date: August 18, 2014
Time: 3:10pm
Name of child: Alexander Loving

How did the accident occur?
Xander and another child were playing with wood blocks when Xander was hit accidentally by the other child.

Type of injury (describe the result of the accident):
Red mark on right side (bridge) of his nose

First aid administered:
- Applied ice
- Dried tear and comforted

---------

The funny part?  As we were told in person, the "other child" was Ari. :)

Weapons of war in my pacifist household

We don't allow our children to have guns in the house.  You'd think that would mean we wouldn't have guns in the house.

But no.

Ari makes guns out of biting his cheddar cheese into certain patterns.

Xander goes to do art and rises from the table with his own hand-crafted gun; a straw, construction paper, and tape.

I'm one of the most "gender as a social construction," non-normative gender roles person I know.  But all that said... is it something in boys' nature???  None of my friends with girls seem to have this issue.

Indoor camping

Anyone who knows me knows that camping is not my thing.  I like the outdoors.  I like the moon and the stars.  But... bugs? And intense heat?  And wild animals?  And sleeping on a hard uncomfortable surface?  Not so much.

Jonathan likes to camp, so we have the equipment.  But last week it was over 100 degrees here, so... yeah, not going outside.

However... we don't want to deprive our kids of summer camping.

So we put up the tent in our dining room.

And made s'mores in the fireplace.  (Ari wanted "cold s'mores" because he was afraid of the fire.)

And we slept in the tent.  

They were SO EXCITED I can't even begin to describe it.

Ari bringing his loveys into the tent.

Yay for indoor camping!  Even more adorable was Ari's concern over Connor joining us:  "Don't let him drool on tent!  If he gets tent wet, we have [to] clean it up!" 

In case you didn't get that "I'm excited" vibe. Poor Ari decided halfway through the evening though that he wanted to go back to bed with his regular night-time "sleepy music" CD and his normal blanket, not the sleeping bag, so in the end it was just with 2 out of 3 kids.

Jonathan took a picture of us sleepyheads in the morning.  He and Ari were already at breakfast.

Hooray!

My grandmother has her own computer at the assisted living facility.  Bookwormers, unite!

Spa day gone wrong

Becca came in for the day and took me out for a mani/pedi.  I picked silver glitter for my toes because I thought the kids would like it.

Ari was furious.  "No color!  Take paint off!"

He didn't want his mommy to change.

Then I realized... this is the first time in the entirety of his little life I've ever actually painted my toenails.

Kinda sad on all counts!

Do you remember last year, when we had problems with Simcha?

We had such a horrible time with him, and he ended up being sent to live with Mom?  Well, last November I wrote an email to the casting director of My Cat from Hell, the Animal Planet show.  I never heard from them, so figured they weren't interested, and then I forgot about it.

Today they called back!  We made it through the first round of casting, apparently, and now they want us to send them video, photos, and explanations of our issues with the kitty.

Simcha might be on TV!!  How hilarious.

And awesome. :)

Leave him alone, Goblin King!

Toby in Labyrinth

Toby at home with Dad 

(personally, I think our Toby is much cuter!)

He's a mover and a shaker

Please note, we cleaned the house right after. :)

Loving County, Texas

A friend of mine sent this picture over.  According to Wikipedia, Loving County was named after a 19th-century cattle rancher, Oliver Loving, and has a population of 82, making it the least-populous county in the United States.  Who knew?!

Singing children

We've been listening to the Katy Perry song Firework, below.



 This is X's rendition, as sung in my office, in two parts:

(He's holding his "Xander paper pocket," which he created with staples so as to put all his treasures.)

 

Part 2

Alef bet song

  

And lastly, playtime in the kitchen, having a parade

Recs

1) On the Chocolate Trail: A Delicious Adventure Connecting Jews, Religions, History, Travel, Rituals and Recipes to the Magic of Cacao by Rabbi Deborah R. Prinz
Chocolate is everywhere.  This non-fiction piece is about the history of chocolate and Judaism, worldwide.  You can't go wrong!  I also like her recipes.  Perfect for an adult education class one day.


2) The Hare with Amber Eyes: A Hidden Inheritance by Edmund de Waal
de Waal showcases his family history through tracing the family's art pieces through the centuries.  His family, the Ephrussis, were like mega-rich, on par with the Rothschilds of the day, and lost it all to the Nazis in WWII.  It was an intriguing read, but as I'm not as learned in art history as I'd like to be, some of it felt like name-dropping and lent itself to skimming.  I liked the personal stories, however, when he focused more on the people, not on the art.


3) I Heart My Little A-Holes by Karen Alpert
This is one of the many mommy blogger books on the NY Times bestseller list, so Jonathan got it for me as a gift, since I've liked others of its ilk.  Honestly, only read it if you get it used or through the library.  I thought I would like it more.  It's funny, and very real, but also a little meaner than I'm comfortable with.  And I think I also just don't share her style of parenting, so some of it seemed strange to me (e.g. making fun of the doctor who uses the anatomically correct words to her children, who are befuddled because the author only uses slang for those body parts; I'm with the doctor, so didn't see why that was amusing).  It wasn't a bad book... but she cusses a lot, some of it seems crass, and overall, let's just there are better alternates out there that deal with parenting, in my humble opinion.


4) Making Prayer Real: Leading Jewish Spiritual Voices on Why Prayer Is Difficult and What to Do About It by Rabbi Mike Comins
I haven't even finished this one yet, but I'm halfway through and want to share my newfound love.  Yes, to many of us prayer and services can be boring - but whose fault is that?  Service leaders obviously make a huge difference, but we also need to take responsibility for our own prayer experience.  How do delve deeply?  What does it mean to pray?  How do we find our "prayer voice," and is it different from our other internal voices?  What do we gain by praying?  I feel like an infomercial... all these and more answered by Rabbi Comins!  His commentary is amazing, he interviews over 50 rabbis, cantors, and prayer leaders, and he has a "how to" section in the back with practical tips.  I wish I would have read this book years ago; it's helped me as both a spiritual person myself, and also as clergy person helping to facilitate others' prayer.

Musings on siblinghood

I have a brother and a sister, but I never grew up with them.  They lived far away, and we only saw each other once a summer.  While I was very conscious that as an only child I got all of my mothers' attention, I also often wished for a sibling in the room next door, someone who shared my unusual life circumstances and who I could talk to about it.

I think that's one of the reasons I wanted more than one child, to live vicariously through them and give them a relationship that I never had.  Jonathan never had siblings his age either, so this is new to both of us.  Today was the first day I got a glimpse of a real bond they have, completely without us:

At breakfast, Jonathan gave Xander and Ari orange juice in mugs, as a fun special thing (usually they have neither, juice nor mugs).  They were so excited, they clinked glasses spontaneously, just like we adults do, and chatted amongst themselves with no fighting.

Then, in the car, they were very jazzed about their new seating arrangements.  A couple days ago we moved Xander into a booster seat and put him and Ari in the second row of the van at their request.  Connor was getting big for the bucket seat, so he's graduated into Xander's big Britax seat in the first row.  Xander helped take off the cover, put it in the washer and dryer, and put it back on, so he was part of the process of "bequeathing" his seat to his little brother.

As I pulled out of the driveway Ari asked me to give him a book to read.  I said no, I was sorry, but that the books were now out of my reach, he would have to entertain himself.  So Ari asked Xander to read him the book.  And Xander read him the entire book!  What made it even more special was that it was a Berenstein Bear book that had originally been mine; I looked at the inscription and Savta had written a note saying how happy she was that I had read it to her.  The note is dated 1986; I was 5.  Xander is now 5.  And he read that same book - beautifully I might add - to his little brother.  He read to him the entire 20 minute car trip, and Ari looked up at him with admiration and love in his face.  Even Connor, who is rear-facing so can see them both, was intrigued and didn't make a peep.  The love and cooperation was wonderful to witness.

Then as they got out of the car, they argued over who would close the door and who would hold which of my hands in the parking lot, and the moment was lost.  But it was amazing while it lasted. :)

6 things of note in my life

1) Everyone wish refuah shleima, healing of body, mind and spirit, to Auntie Lois and Uncle Mike.  Hopefully she will recover and he will get out of the hospital soon.  We're with you in spirit!

2) Summer is nearing an end.  Xander starts 1st grade in 3 weeks, and I only lead two more Shabbat services before my senior returns from sabbatical.  Where did the time fly?

3) Just finished watching the last season of Dr. Who.  Oh last episode "The Name of the Doctor," I now understand why my Facebook page went crazy about you a year ago!  I may have to break all my own rules and go online to read spoilers from the the 50th Anniversary special and the current season.

4) We don't have any toys in the kids' rooms, just beds, clothes, and bookshelves.  That way their room is a place for sleep, not for play.  But last night, Ari carried in two huge ride-on trucks, that usually live in the dining room.  Jonathan asked him, "Ari, why are those in here?"  And Ari looked at him like he was an ignoramus and said, very slowly and clearly, "Daddy, those [are] trucks.  WE. NEED. THEM."  And then he went on his way.

5) The Spiderman costumes are literally falling apart at the seams.  Literally.  We don't sew that well to put them back together.  So we got them early Halloween costumes: Xander is Iron Man and Ari is Wolverine.  One would think it was Hanukkah around here, and we've been Superhero-ing it up all week.

6) My wedding ring fits again.  Hooray!

And that, as they say, is that.

Things Dads know

(by Jonathan)

So for reasons I’m not going to explain right now, Michal has offered to make the kids' lunches for school the night before with me. She’s new to this, so we walked through it together as to avoid any rejected lunches by the boys.

Michal: “So Xander will eat the fruit strips, but Ari will eat the fruit cups, right?”

Me: “Yup! Just make sure not to switch it, because Xander doesn’t like the stringy white parts on the orange slices, and Ari won’t eat the breakfast bars or fruit strips because he thinks they’re 'disgusting.'"

Michal: (stares at me for a while before speaking) "OK, so chips… they will eat plain potato chips, right?" (She looked so hopeful)

Me: "Close! Xander loves the plain chips, but Ari won’t eat them because…"

Michal: “They’re disgusting?”

Me: “You got it. So give Ari the nacho chips, he loves them.  But Xander won’t eat them because they’re too spicy.  He'll eat the Sunchips though.”

Michal: “What about cheese?"

Me: "Xander will eat cheddar cheese cut up.  Ari only sometimes, he likes salami better.  Neither will eat string cheese because they don't like strings."

Michal: (shaking her head in frustration) "How do you keep all this stuff in your head?”

Me: “I’m their Dad.”

‘nuff said.



[Edited to add by Michal: Yes, and I'm their mom, I just obviously don't feed them every day!  Man those kids are picky....]

My past and future

My mother is still in Israel with my grandmother, helping her get acclimated to the assisted living facility and cleaning out her apartment.  Hard to believe I'll never visit her there again.

My two most loyal blog readers. :)

Look what Savta saved from my wedding 10 years ago - table place settings and wedding favors!  (Wow, those M&M's did not hold up.)

Birthday lunch last week!

Jonathan at 44, Connor at 8 months

Harry Potter party at the library

This past weekend we went to the local library.  I was so impressed.  I wanted to be a child again.  You entered the room by walking through "Platform 9 3/4," which was a sheet painted like a brick wall that was hanging in front of the door.  Then the glory of the room awaited:

1) Make your own edible wand with pretzel sticks and different colored frosting and sprinkles.  And red licorice.

2) Make your own real wand with twigs/sticks, pipe cleaners, glitter glue, and sequins.

3) Butter beer = cream soda with whipped cream.  Witch hat cookies = Keebler fudge cookies turned upside down with a Hershey's kiss stuck in the middle, with a ring of frosting holding it down looking like hat decoration.


4) Being sorted = sit on a stool, put on the sorting hat, close your eyes and pick a "dinosaur egg" of each of the 4 House colors from a hat.  A chorus of teens announced your House once you picked.

(X's wand is in the forefront)

5) A custom-made "I'm a prisoner of Azkaban" photo frame with which to pose.

6) Make your own bookmark by cutting out broom bottoms out of felt and gluing them to the bottom of a House colored popsicle stick, and then write runes on it.

7) Make your own Golden Snitch = take a gold porous bouncy-looking ball and stick two feathers on either side, and wave it up and down.

Eat, drink, do art, and repeat.  (I write all this down to remind me in case of future birthday parties.)