You can take the girl out of L.A., but can't take L.A. out of the girl

I was driving 45 minutes to get to a funeral today, on an unfamiliar freeway, and I kept seeing all these single drivers going in the carpool lane.

I hmmph'd at the first one, scoffed at the second, and by the time the fourth car driven by a single person went by, I started craning my head looking for the inevitable cop.  No one came.

The single-driver cars kept driving by.

Then I started to think it must be me - did the diamonds painted on the line mean it was no longer carpool?  What did these other drivers know that I didn't?

And then I realized.  Duh.  It's only in SoCal that carpool lanes are for two or more drivers all the time.  I was driving at 10:30 in the morning, past rush hour and therefore past required carpool times.  And... yep, there was the sign on the side of the road that said that.

I laughed at myself and moved to the left lane. :)

Throwback Thursday

I got out of bed early this morning, pulling myself away from a snuggly, sleepy baby with regret.  The reason?  I had to go to a work meeting.

A budget meeting, to be exact.

Leaving a warm cuddly baby to go to a budget meeting... it was like 8am college calculus all over again!

Human Milk 4 Human Babies

Go Facebook!  The group in the title just set me up with a woman from Santa Rosa who's medically unable to breastfeed.  She's willing to drive 2 hours each way to get milk from my freezer.  Very simply, I pump one extra session a day, and her son gets antibodies and other good stuff he would never receive from formula.

I don't give away nearly as much money as I would like, but this is a mitzvah I can do!

My prayers have been answered

I've been so tired in the mornings I've been stopping by Starbucks and using up all my gift cards.

But then I became concerned about the amount of caffeine I was ingesting... I know a nursing mom's supposed to have less than 300 mg a day, lest it show up in the milk and effect the baby.

So I looked it up.

And yes, my once-upon-a-time athiest self, I have found further proof that there IS a God.

A Grande Chai is only 95mg!  And a Venti is only 120mg!

Hallelujah!!

Busy bees

This was one of those weekends that was busier than the week.  I love what I do, so it's great, just a bit tiring.  But I hadn't realized til this weekend the impact on the older kids; they were fine with having a new baby brother, but are having a harder time (especially Ari) with my transition back to work.  Being on bed rest meant that I was physically present all the time, even if I couldn't play with them; now, I'm just not at home as much.

That said, it was great to be a mom and rabbi both at Pajama Havdallah on Saturday night.  A congregant gifted me with the most adorable pink PJs, which I wore to the amusement of all the kids.

Ari the pajama SuperMensch.

While I was working on Saturday day, Jonathan took all three boys and they sliced up potatoes and made homemade potato chips and French fries.  He also took everyone food shopping, and then they all went to Tim's house for a playdate with the twins ("I am forever grateful," he says). Thank goodness I have such a supportive husband, he makes my profession possible!

Mystery of the day

Xander came home Friday very confused as to why we had put seaweed in his lunch.  "Seaweed?!" Jonathan asked.  Of course we didn't put seaweed in your lunch, he explained.  But Xander was adamant that he had, and that he didn't like it, and didn't want to eat it.  Jonathan was baffled.  But lo and behold, when we opened up his lunchbox, what did we find?  Seaweed.

Our best guess is that it had been packed in the lunchbox of one of his friends, and that friend didn't want to eat it, but didn't want to take it home again.  So it got snuck into Xander's lunchbox when he wasn't looking.  All of us were highly amused.  

And no, we reassured our son, we weren't mad at him, and he didn't have to eat it if he didn't want to. :)

Mom's visit last week

Mom bought the kids foam swords.  Robin was a good sport.  Let the violence ensue!!  (Note Xander about to swat him on the bottom)

Reading all about Spiderman and Doc Ock.

Because we haven't had kitty pictures in a while - Osher and his shadow.

Connor marvels at why in the world Mommy is on the bottom of the puppy pile.  Xander is above Jonathan, it's not that Ari has eight limbs.

Close-up of puppy pile amazement.

Wrestling with a very happy Xander.

Bubby and all three grandkids.

I will crawl to reach that toy, I WILL!

Pooped out on the couch after multiple attempts at crawling.

Book reviews from my roles as mother, wife, and rabbi

Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace by Ayelet Waldman

I've reviewed this one here before, but just recently reread it because... oy, I need the help!  It was good as always.  Mostly, it served its purpose in reminding me that even though I feel that I'm not succeeding particularly well at being either a mother, rabbi, or wife, that I am trying my best at all of them, and that's good enough.



Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts from the Animals of Africa by Melissa Haynes

I nabbed this one because of the title, like everyone else I'm sure, since Jonathan loves lions and I thought he might like it.  Yet I was quite surprised by its contents.  The title phrase is slang for "to take risks" in South Africa, and the author decides to do just that volunteering on a wild animal reserve.  Yet she chooses to volunteer to escape the grief and guilt she feels over her mother's death, and the Africa chapters are interspersed with flashbacks of her mother's final months and hours.  It's a bit heavy-handed at times, but overall she does a nice job tying it together.  I'd recommend it, but with the caveat that it's not the light-hearted beach read you might be expecting.



Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and a Saint by Nadia Bolz-Weber

I checked this one out at Nicole L.'s request, and I'm so glad I did!  More than others I've read in months, this memoir made me think.  I even took notes on it, which I usually only do for academic books.  On the surface, the pages are a chronicle of the author's journey from drug user and alcoholic to being the founding pastor of a LBGTQ-friendly Lutheran church, with stories about herself and the people she meets along the way.  That's the easy summary.  On a deeper level, the book is a string of thoughtful sermons woven together in a non-chronological narrative.  Bolz-Weber shares her faith and her truth in a non-threatening, easy-to-understand plainspoken style (peppered with curse words), and explains where she finds her God and her grace.

I obviously don't share her belief in Jesus, but I admit, in a way I almost envy it.  It provides answers for her that I lack.  Take, for instance, her stance on suffering on page 128, given in the context of her reaction to the 2012 Haitian earthquake:

I've written about suffering already in this book, and I'll write about it again, because addressing pain and tragedy is one of my main responsibilities as a pastor.  I'm asked to find God in suffering.  And every time I go looking for God amidst sorrow, I always find Jesus at the cross.  In death and resurrection.

This is our God.  Not a distant judge or a sadist, but a God who weeps.  A God who suffers, not only for us, but with us.  Nowhere is the presence of God amidst suffering more salient than on the cross.  Therefore what can I do but confess that this is not a God who causes suffering.  This is a God who bears suffering.  I need to believe that God does not initiate suffering; God transforms it.

I wonder about suffering too, but I don't have a cross and a self-sacrificing God to transform it for me, to accompany me in my grief.  My image of God is not nearly as substantial as hers, I have no tangible Jesus-like figure to be with me and shoulder part of my burden.  I'd always wondered how Christianity and the Trinity could be logical to people, how they could believe in it, why they would believe in something that by its very nature depends on a tremendous leap of faith (I mean, believing in God is hard enough, believing in a man who is both God and God's son at once seems even harder to me) - but now I get it.  She sold this rabbi on why Christians need Jesus.  She made her faith real.  And it's truly beautiful.  It's not my faith, and it never will be, but it was wondrous to see someone else's so vibrantly and eloquently explained.

On an entirely different level, this book was also worth reading purely for my professional curiosity about the inner workings of a liberal Lutheran church, and for the contrast it offered between that and evangelical Christianity.  I had no idea, for instance, that evangelicals were faith-based almost to the exclusion of social justice, since in my personal bubble, social justice initiatives are much of the foundation of Reform Jewish congregational life.  I also came away with some intriguing notions for future adult education offerings, for some of her church's less philosophically-based programs are lovely, and I bet could be easily adapted to work in all faiths.

Overall, I highly recommend Pastrix.  Nicole L., great call!

It finally happened

I was trying to get the attention of my middle child.

I looked right at him and called out, "Xan-Con-ARI!"

<facepalm>

I used to make fun of people who did that...

Double feature

This week's school newsletter featured both our older kids!  The shots were taken on Valentine's Day, also pajama day.

I love his curls.

Hard at work decorating his goodie bag.

Xander's wall hanging, with the "O" as his hand and the "V" as his feet.  

Ari's turn, on the other side of the doorway.  I'm so impressed by the school's creativity.  Isn't that a great project?!

And we have a winner!

No to Medela.

No to Avent.

No to Dr. Brown's.

No to Tommie Tippee.

But YES to Nuk!!!

All hail the magic bottle.

Jonathan tried to access his phone while holding a crying baby. Hilarity ensues.

From: Lookout Mobile Security <team@lookout.com>
Date: Sat, Feb 15, 2014 at 8:02 PM
Subject: We detected someone trying to unlock your device!
To: (Jonathan's email)

Uh oh. Is someone trying to unlock your device?

Lookout has detected an attempted break-in on 

your SPH-L720 / (phone number)

Lock Cam takes a picture of anyone who tries to unlock your device 5 times with an incorrect PIN, password or pattern--just one more way that Lookout keeps your device, and everything on it, safe and secure!

This picture was taken using the front-facing camera on your device.

Here's where this picture was taken:

(Google map of our house)

First week down.

It was wonderful to be back in the community.

The pace is much faster than I've been used to at home.

I've been falling into bed at 9pm.

I practically begged Mom to come into town for the three-day weekend.   Thank goodness she said yes... it's been such a huge help.

For those who are curious... Connor still won't take a bottle.  Jonathan's been visiting me at work once a day so he can nurse.  Then he wakes up every two hours to eat at night.

Oy-ness.

Connor learns to chat

In his debut outfit for religious school last Sunday.

Cracking up.

Oh so amused.

Talking to me and cooing.  He's strong, supporting himself on his own.

Listening earnestly to my response.

 Giggling about the prospect of rolling - he's learned to go from his back to either side.


And speaking of religious school... yep, I'm back at work.  It's wonderful and chaotic and fulfilling and exhausting all at once.  I'd forgotten the pace of it, and I do miss the baby.  But I love what I do, and I know it will all work out in time.

Why my child is crying

We asked Ari to pick up the popcorn pieces he threw to the floor.

The many emotions of Connor

The background of this post: I wanted to get a good photo of the baby for my picture frame at work.  So of course we had to take a bunch.  You're totally forgiven for not looking at all of them, I'm mostly posting these for my mom and grandmother.  But for anyone who is interested, behold Connor in all his 10-week old nuances!

Love.

Amusement.

Contemplation.

Dubiousness.

Admiration.

Alarm.

Shock.

Trepidation.

Dismay.

Joy.

Revolution!  (Photo taken by X.)

What made the photo shoot happen: me making cooing sounds and Xander entertaining his brother.  Here he is exploring toe tickling.

And finally, the winner: the photo I chose for my office frame.

Yummy food making

X stirring the waffle batter for Shabbat breakfast (Jonathan decided to shake it up, usually we have challah French toast).

Chopping up apples for the batter.

Eating the apples that didn't make it to the bowl.

I BAKED!   See the glorious cake.  I cut it in half and made it double-layered.  Can't go wrong with more frosting.

An Ari story

You might have noticed that I don't talk much about what Ari does at school.  That's not out of any sense of ignoring the middle child, but purely because Ari is more into active play and practical skills, not things with pieces of paper of which I can take pictures.  E.g. while Xander decides to do art or sewing or math, all with material take-homes, Ari loves to garden, to sing, to learn his letters and numbers, and to build towers and do puzzles.

His communication is getting much better, and as such, his behavior is too - I think lots of his "being two years old" anger was because he was frustrated that we weren't understanding him.  

Sometimes, however, his moods come out of nowhere...

Xander was running and tripped over his own feet.  Ari was running right behind and fell on top of him.

"I'm sowwy, Xander," Ari said.

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault," Xander replied, brushing himself off. "No worries, honey.  But thank you," I added.

"NOO!!!" he yelled, surprising us all.  "It IS my fault!!"  He then left the room, huffing and puffing.

J and I looked at each other and laughed.  His vehemence was just too cute.  Xander just looked baffled.

A moment later Ari came running back, scowling and indignant.  "IS NOT FUNNY!"  Then he ran away again.  Jonathan and I lost it.

You woulda laughed too had you been there, I guarantee it.

Interesting things of note this weekend

1) When did children's songs get whitewashed?  Listening to "Three Blind Mice" on one of our CD's, the lyrics said "they all ran after the farmer's wife/who cut them some cheese with a carving knife."  Isn't the original, "who cut off their tails with a carving knife"?  At least that's what I remember from my own childhood.

2) I've been in jeans and sweatshirts, my natural state, for too long.  Between bedrest and maternity leave, it's been five months since I've dressed up professionally for work.  My first day back is tomorrow, and when I did a "trial run" today and put on my jewelry, one of my earring holes had half-closed up!

3) Connor won't take a bottle.  It's freaking us out.  Any suggestions?

4) Rain, rain, come down.  It's great for California's drought, but bad for our backyard because we were going to sweep up all the sand from the sandbox this weekend.  Now we just have mud.

5) Robin can put anyone to sleep.  See below for proof!

Making mathematical pizza

At the kids' school different learning activities are called "jobs."  There's a "map job" in geography, a "leaf job" in biology, a "carrot job" teaching them how to use a knife to cut up carrots, etc.  The one below is the "circle job" introducing fractions - or, as one of Xander's friends call it, the "pizza job."

Hard at work.  You can see the red pizza circle on the lower right. 

The first page of his packet: a full circle and a creatively-spelled name.  

Halves.  Bad shadow, sorry.

Thirds.

Quarters.  I don't know where he picked up the European four notation.  Or, as he calls it, "fancy fours."

And voila.  Fifths.  A nicely cut-up pizza pie.

And in another entry in the "where did this child COME from?!" files, Xander's teacher has now resorted to making deals with him: she'll only teach him more numbers if he reads a book or does sight words with her.  Otherwise he'd do math all day, every day, and ignore literacy completely!